Mar 11, 2011
Coincidence

I walked into your life
Only a stranger
And you took me in
I thought you'd be the one
To shield me from danger
But you pushed me out again
Again and again

Coincidence brought us together
All of those times you said
That we should know better
Coincidence draws you away again
So I'll wait patiently
And pray that you'll come back for me

The truth is, I love you
Though I promised not to
I fell anyway
I know you're scared of me
But there's a possibility
I'll take all your pain away
And fill up each void

Coincidence brought us together
I hope you'll learn to trust me
More with each letter
Coincidnce keeps us apart again
So what else can I do
But pray my path leads back to you?

When will we see
Through hypocrisy?
Will we ever find
Our bodies; souls entwined?

You walked into my life
Only a stranger
I'll never be the same again
Without you by my side

Coincidence keeps us from being happy
With my every breath
I hope your heart will beat for me
Coincidence is never conquered easily
But here I am on my knees
To pray that you'll come back to me

And that's no coincidence

Posted at 12:28 am by CharlieCowan
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Mar 10, 2011
Only Just Begun

I feel like I need this
Feel like I love this
I feel like my blood is the only
Way to release my pain
Feel like I need this
I feel like I'm crazy
Feel like my whole world
Is crashing down before me

So fuck all that
The things I feel
Don't make any sense
Just let me die
My spirit drains away
With my life

I feel like I need this
Feel like I love this
I feel like my shame is the only
Way that I'm ever enough
Feel like we need this
I feel like we're dying
Feel like you should leave
Before I do something to you too

So fuck all this
The pain I feel
Will drag you down
Just leave me here
My spirit slowly dies
As I fade away

How do I explain this pain
That's flowing through my veins?
How do I release the fear
And take the final steps to heal?

I feel like I need this
Feel like I love this
I face the cold steel for
Everything that I can't do right
Feel like I need this
I feel like it's over
And I've only just begun...

Posted at 12:23 pm by CharlieCowan
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Mar 3, 2011
untitled at the moment

A piece of you; a piece of me
Tell me how it's going to be
When out of dust, you called my name
And touched my body without shame
A hunger lingered on your lips
You shivered at my fingertips
And now, ignoring moments past
For something that will never last

Bite me, scratch me, fuck me, need me
Hit me, lick me, suck me, bleed me
Scream my name until the end
... Then go tell lies to your girlfriend

Glasses shattered on the ground
Crumpled tissues all around
Clothing shredded, ripped and tattered
Body broken, bruised and battered
Scratches bleeding down my spine
While we pretend that you are mine
Though I have you only 'til the light
You'll own me for a thousand nights

Bite me, scratch me, fuck me, need me
Hit me, lick me, suck me, bleed me
Scream my name until the end
... Then go tell lies to your girlfriend.

Posted at 06:58 pm by CharlieCowan
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Mar 2, 2011
Love Like Poison

Overthrown and overshadowed
By this love I feel
Open-ended, open hearts
Can't tell me it's not real
I don't want to feel this way
But I can't give up your smile
I don't know just what I want
But I'll stay a little while

I don't want your love
When it's like poison to me
I don't want my pain to be
The only thing you'll see
I don't want your love
When it's like poison to me
I don't want to feel like
I'll die if I don't have you by my side

We don't want to love each other
But you know how we do
I try to look the other way
But all I see is you
I didn't ask to feel like this
But I like it anyway
I just want to taste your kiss
Can you give it all away?

I don't want your love
When it's like poison to me
I don't want my pain to be
The only thing you'll see
I don't want your love
When it's like poison to me
I don't want to feel like
I'll die if I don't have you by my side

But maybe I will...

Maybe I will...

Posted at 11:09 am by CharlieCowan
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Morbid Love

Invaded my world
Stormed in and took over
Evaded my wrath
But now that it's over
I don't care what you do
Or what happens to you

I let you escape
What have I done?
Now I leave you to die
But you dug your grave

Baby, I can't tell you why
Why do I cry?
And I won't tell a lie
You ruined my life
It's not my fault
That love has to die

You ruled over me
You left no decisions
To make on my own
Your apathy took quite
A hold over me, now
I shed all your lies

I just can't forget
Your morbid love
But I have no regrets
So get out of my head

Mama, I can't tell you why
I held on this long
And I won't tell a lie
You ruined my life
It's not my fault
That love has to die

Over and over
Again and again
I waited for you
But now that you're gone, I
I hope that I never
Will see you again

I've had quite enough
Of your morbid love
Now I rise up once more
To take back my life

'Cause I can't tell you why
I never spoke up
And you sold me those lies
You've broken this life
So it's not my fault
This love has to die.

Posted at 10:47 am by CharlieCowan
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Mar 1, 2011
The Morning After

A crow cawed at dawn and I peeked through heavy lids to see the first dim shreds of light filtering through the curtainless window. Where was I? I waited still while bits of memory seeped into my brain.

Suddenly I remembered and with a sickening wave of dread and a giddy excitement that I didn't know could go hand-in-hand, I slowly rolled over.

He was there facing away from me, his hair flopped over his forehead. In the absence of a pillow, he had one arm folded beneath his head, and the other bent at an impossible angle behind him. He was so beautiful. I felt an ache of fondness for him and I reached out to touch the smooth skin of his back, the familiar stab of longing taking shelter in the pit of my stomach.

"What time is it?" he mumbled thickly out of deep sleep.

"Shh," I murmured back. "It's early; go back to sleep."

I sidled over to him and slithered my free hand along his chest , contouring myself around his small frame. Within seconds I felt, rather than heard, his shallow breathing become deep once more.

I must have dozed off again because the next I woke, the sun was full in the room and I could hear the neighbours stirring, beginning their week -- the clang of pans in their kitchen; the weary groan of plumbing coming to life in their bathroom.  Normal people going about their normal lives. And yet here I was...

I realized I needed to pee, so with an amusing sticky sound I peeled myself away from his body, careful not to disturb him, and retrieved my discarded t-shirt and knickers from the floor in case I ran into someone.  I crept down the stairs as quietly as possible, but they creaked piteously under my feet despite the effort.


Posted at 11:08 pm by CharlieCowan
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Distraction

All I need is a good distraction
From my painful, wasted days
A series of life's sublimations
Lead me to my newest craze
You came along and rocked my world
The good times never ceased to roll
Emotions that I hid, unfurled
You'd touch me and I'd lose control

But I never had a hold of you
And you never staked a claim to me
So now you say, it will be okay
It's just that we will never be

I long for you; intense attraction
All my life's been a deep infraction
Now you're gone; ain't no satisfaction
Time for me to find a new distraction

I can't say what I was hoping for
Except that you might stick around
Who knows what we could have had in store
I won't protest; won't make a sound
You need some time; you want a break
I can't blame your indecision
Don't think we're a mistake
It's complicated
Won't feel violated
I'll just keep dreaming... wide awake

But you don't believe my strong devotion
Or the things I feel for you
And I won't confess this raw emotion
Or the things that I might want to do

I long for you; intense attraction
All my life's been a deep infraction
Now you're gone; ain't no satisfaction
Time for me to find a new distraction

I love you
I hate you
I can't seem to shake you
You love me
You hate me
Don't want to betray me

Why do I
allow this feeling?
Why do I
prevent this healing?
How do I
forget this man?
How do I
make you understand?

I long for you; intense attraction
All my life's been a deep infraction
Now you're gone; ain't no satisfaction
Time for me to find a new distraction

... Guess you're more, than a mere distraction

You're much, much more, than a good distraction...

Posted at 10:57 pm by CharlieCowan
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Version 13.9

We stumbled into each other;
we've barely scratched the surface.
We've never even discussed anything
that has a purpose.
Strangers talk only 'bout the weather, so they say,
and you're a stranger when you only hold someone at bay.
Build the wall to hide it all and maybe you'll stay sane.
I'll take my chance on this romance that even I cannot explain.

**********
Don't tell me that you're hurt
or that you're an introvert
just be present and alert
when I'm studying your face.
It's just not fair
your head's not there
yet you occupy my mental space.
It's down to you
what will we do?
how will our story go?


**********
I'm just an understudy
Standing in 'til you get what you want
I'm just your bedroom buddy
In the place that you know she still haunts
I'll hold my hands quite steady
And tell you that I'll walk away
'Til I know ou are ready...
I won't be her understudy.

Posted at 10:52 pm by CharlieCowan
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Version 13.1

Was it you?
Was it me?
Was it something in between
The lonely worlds we're throwing down
And heated bodies tangled on the ground?

This make-believe world where we play
Is something I dream about every day
Always secret, never bold
Among the lies we've left untold
And without question, here you'll see
A woman entirely at your mercy

**********
She looked on with sadness in her eyes
I have to say, it was not a big surprise

Posted at 10:49 pm by CharlieCowan
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My Only Chance

Am I invisible? Can you still hear me?
My words seem to fall on deaf ears
You never call to remind me you love me
Well... that's if you even do

I thought you knew me like no other could
You rescued my tortured soul when nobody would
But long days and nights go by and I am still alone
And you seem to not even care if you're there

It isn't easy to say good-bye to you
When I don't know how long you'll be gone
It isn't easy to tell you I love you
When this could be my only chance

... What can I do?

Am I the only one? the woman of your dreams?
The questions that might make you pause
But I've been awaiting a love to complete me
And I think it could be... you

My life had been empty 'til you were brought to me
And I am unwilling to give up easily
So if you can hear me then tell me how you feel
Show me if this could be real

It isn't easy to say good-bye to you
When I don't know how long you'll be gone
It isn't easy to admit I need you
When you keep on walking away

It isn't easy to say good-bye to you
But I don't know what else I can do
It isn't easy to tell you I love you
But this could be my only chance

... I love you.

Posted at 10:44 pm by CharlieCowan
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CharlieCowan
Female
Ontario

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